First Day

So this is my very first blog, ever. A recently new friend of mine kept mentioning "his blog" and I finally found out what he was talking about. I decided I would make a blog also. I really think this will help me. I always have a really hard time sharing my feels and thoughts with people and because of that I've let things build up to a certain point and then I break down. It needs to stop. If not one of these days it's going to build up too high and I won't know what to do. However, I thought writing would be a good way of getting some of my emotions out; the good and the bad.

First thing is first: Prom.

EVERYONE is freaking out about it, me included. I think so many of us are afraid of not having dates. Which I believe is a fair thing to be worried about, I mean it's our senior prom. We want to go, we want to have a date, and we want to have fun. I think I am a generally well liked person, I'm not afraid that someone won't ask me because they don't like me, but I'm more of the "friends" type of girl with majority of my guy friends. The girl they like comes first and then me. Which is why I don't think I'll be asked. Maybe I'll be asked, but not by someone I really want to go with. It's my final prom, I want to go with someone who I will have a fun time with and he will too. That's the tough part. There's been this one guy I kind of want to go with. I just recently met him but he's fantastic and I truly believe I would have a good time and so would he. But it's tough to get someone from a different school to go. Mainly the money factor. Prom is extremely expensive which totally sucks. For your own prom its understandable, but for someone else's... not so much. I wish there was something I can do because at this exact point in time I really want to go with him. Maybe it's too soon to decide that though. Oh well. If its meant to happen it will. If not, I got to figure out who I want to go with.

Speaking of money: College.

Why does everything have to be so expensive? It's ridiculous! I understand why it is so expensive but it really stinks. I spent about an hour of my night filling out some scholarship applications. Got all of them filled out minus the essays. That will take a little bit of time. I'm terrible at writing as it is so writing essays was not fun at all.

Relationships.

They are so incredibly difficult. Relationships with a boyfriend, relationships with parents, relationships with friends. It is crazy. When of the biggest things I miss from Virginia is my friends and the relationships we had. We were so incredibly close. I knew everything about my friends and they knew everything about me. I absolutely love the new friends I've made since moving here though. I would do anything for them. But we are all on many different levels that sometimes it's tough to be honest and truly ourselves around each other. And that I think is a huge thing. My group of friends aren't always themselves. I know something about one friend that another friend doesn't know. We are constantly censoring ourselves on what we say and do. I'm really hoping that is something we can work on before we part. We need to be accepting of each other and not judge, which to be honest, is a tough thing to do in our world. People are constantly judging each other. I won't deny that I do sometimes, but that is something I'm really trying to work on.

Ahhh, tomorrow is a new day. Maybe things will change.

Goodbye for now.